Hi, lovelies! It gives me great pleasure today to host Branden
LaNette and her new book, “Once Upon a Time, Bitches”! For other stops on her Goddess Fish
Promotions Book Tour, please click on the banner above or any of the images in
this post.
Be sure to make it to the
end of this post to enter to win a $50 Amazon or Barnes and Noble Gift Card!!! Also, come back daily to interact with Branden
and to increase your chances of winning!
Thanks for stopping
by! Wishing you lots of luck in this
fabulous giveaway!
Once Upon a Time, Bitches
by Branden LaNette
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GENRE: Self-Help
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BLURB:
That’s
Branden on the cover. Yes, she has a boy’s name, a Mom bod, and her tattoos are
not photoshopped. She doesn’t look like your typical author and she sure
doesn’t look like the next self-help Instagram sweetheart.
However,
besides being a wife, mom to six kids (plus others with fur), coach and
business owner, Branden is the author of the new book, Once Upon a Time,
Bitches. It’s a fast paced, in your face, expletive laced, nothing held back
message to women everywhere: There is no magic fairytale, but if YOU work at it
enough you can come pretty close to creating your version with a happily ever
after.
But
first, no more whining and no more damsel locked in a tower, bullsh*t. Is it
possible to design a fairytale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your
story? Branden thinks there is and she wants to help you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXCERPT ONE:
Ever
since I was 8 years old, I dreamed of an easy life. The problem with my dream?
I expected that fairytale life to be handed to me. And when it wasn’t, I
decided that fairytales were bullsh*t. Not that you can’t have a fairytale
life—you can. What I understand now, however, is that to get a fairytale life,
you’d better be willing to work your Cinderella-ass off for it.
Still,
I held on to the fantasy of having an easy life handed to me. I wanted to be
saved. To be specific, I thought I needed a guy to be my hero. So I went about
trying to find one.
I
dated a lot of guys. Lots of guys.
But
as they came and went, I always ended up disappointed. Not a single one of them
ever made my life easier. Things weren’t going the way I’d planned. WTF? Hadn’t
anyone read the f-ing script? It was right there on page 43:
“Tall
handsome guy with tight ass, great pecs and a 124-foot yacht named “Sh*tload of
Cash” enters stage-left and sweeps Branden off her feet, and they sail off to
Barbados.”
Even
in my adult years, I would find myself just wishing—not just for prince
charming to appear (which he eventually did in the form of my husband, minus
the yacht and gobs of cash) but wishing for things in every area of my life.
Even today, in my writing/coaching career, I find myself drifting into
wish-mode: Why isn’t this easier? Why can’t things just take off and grow
overnight? Is it always going to be this hard?
And
when it comes to parenting, it’s the same thing. Why can’t parenting just be
easy? And in my marriage, too: Why do I have to keep asking for things? Can’t
my husband just read my f-ing mind?
One
day I—still 8 years old—had the most terror-filled realization in a simple yet
profound truth:
No
one is coming to save you.
F**k.
No one is coming to rescue me. Ever?
My
heart broke. More like shattered. Yet, after taking some time to mentally
digest this fact, I found this realization liberating somehow. Why was this
liberating? Because it meant I could stop waiting for something outside myself
for my salvation.
It
put me in control. Newsflash, bitches: No one is coming to save you, either.
Get it? No. One. Is. Coming. You’re going to have to save yourself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GUEST POST:
How I Discovered My Book Title (And Sold It!)
I
have always been fascinated by the fairytales Disney created. I had to grow up
faster than most people. I lost a part of life that I think should have been
dedicated to just being a child. So, I connected to the innocence of everything
well into my adult years to make up for that in some way.
I
used to dream and wish for things. For success, for money, for love. I thought
all my answers would be found in a prince. He would have the money, he would
love me, he would make my life easier, and success would just rain upon me and
I would live in a castle forever and ever. Then I discovered an incredible
industry called network marketing. First and foremost, this requires personal
development. A lot of it. Through this journey in the beginning I was still
that eight-year-old girl just wishing for the fairytale magic to just happen.
It
hit me one day, I couldn’t keep wishing. I was going to have to do something. I
was going to have to save myself. not just in one area of my life, but in all
areas. Not just for one day, but for forever. I laughed because “once upon a
time” I had to face the truth.... those words stuck out to me and I felt
incredibly compelled to share that truth with other people that may be out
there just wishing or waiting for things to happen. What if there were women
like me thinking that someone was going to come rescue them, and that if it
didn’t happen that they just weren’t worthy? Who is settling because that
fairytale life didn’t just “happen” to them?
Once
Upon a Time, Bitches
came to me easily and it encompassed everything that was me. I remember making
a phone call to my friend Rebecca 30 minutes before a scheduled call with my
publishers. I second-guessed the title thinking some would think it was
immature. No one would take it seriously. Hearing that reassurance I gained the
confidence I needed to talk to them, to sell my idea.
The
funniest part of everything was, that phone call with the publisher went great.
But not the way you would think. It ended in the comfort of a friend I knew all
too well, a friend I call rejection. She had a lot of great things to say, even
went as far as saying she loved it... said I was on the right track, I just
didn’t have the platform. I knew she loved the title. She loved the idea. At the
end of the day it still comes down to business. So, it was a “not right now,
no.”
I
loved her feedback and I felt empowered, but my uphill battle looked like it
did before we talked. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t question giving up.
I
couldn’t really speak for her on her end but I feel like over the next few
days, my title and idea was so good, it struck a chord within her, and it
replayed in her mind and she knew it was something that they couldn’t let go
of. I say this because I got a phone call from her and her husband offering me
a contract to publish the book within a week of our first conversation.
Once
upon a time is for the fairytale daydreamer in me. Bitches is my term of
endearment for all of the queens out there who don’t fit the cookie cutter
ideology of what a princess is. I needed it to scream possibilities without the
bullshit. This book is proof that dreams come true if you put in the work and
keep showing up no matter how many times you want to quit.
I’m
incredibly proud of the work and honored that so many people have given it a
chance and loved it. I’m even more proud that my publishers got a little
reassurance that they didn’t make a mistake taking a chance with me.
P.S. I am the Momma to 6.
This girl is my latest!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AUTHOR BIO:
Branden LaNette doesn’t
look like a typical author but she has long ignored what she “should” do, say
and look like. On her own at a very young age, Branden eventually found herself
with the wrong guy, the wrong job, and a bleak future. The fairytale she was
promised as a child never materialized.
Finally,
Branden decided that she wanted something different for her life, and realized
no one was going to do it for her. Prince charming wasn’t coming to save
her—she’d have to save herself.
Step
by step, decision by decision, through major trials and tribulations that would
stop most people in their tracks, Branden learned how to turn heartbreak into
happiness and self-judgement into inner joy.
Today,
Branden LaNette is an entrepreneur, coach, speaker, wife, and stay-at-home Mom
to six C-section babies (ages 1-16) and way too many f-ing pets. Somehow,
however, she manages to juggle all of this effortlessly (a blatant lie) while
pushing her way through the kinds of fear and self-doubts that whisper within
all of us (totally true) to achieve her goals. Her most recent dream come true
is this book, one that is destined to have a major impact on millions of women
across the globe (or at least nine people in Michigan.)
Through
it all, she has found her happiness, her joy, and more importantly, her voice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CONNECT WITH BRANDEN:
Website:
Blog:
Newsletter:
Email:
brandenlanette@gmail.com
Facebook:
Twitter:
Instagram:
BookBub Author Page:
BookBub Book Page:
Goodreads Author Page:
Goodreads Book Page:
Amazon Author Page:
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BOOK BUY LINKS:
Amazon Kindle eBook:
Amazon Paperback:
Amazon Audiobook:
Barnes and Noble Paperback:
Kobo Audiobook:
Google Play Audiobook:
The Book Depository Paperback:
BAM! Books-A-Million Paperback:
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GIVEAWAY INFO:
Branden will be awarding a $50 Amazon or B/N GC
to a randomly drawn winner via Rafflecopter during the tour.
**This post contains affiliate links and if clicked and a
purchase is made, I may receive a small commission to help support this
blog. This does not cost you anything,
it just helps pay for all those awesome giveaways on here.**
Branden ~ Good morning! Welcome to FAB! It is so great to have you here! Congrats on your new book and good luck on the book tour! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so fabulous, the experience definitely fits the title. You are amazing and I appreciate you so much!
DeleteThanks for hosting!
ReplyDeleteWhat an incredible blog to be on. I agree, thanks for hosting!
DeleteI enjoyed your excerpt looking forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeleteIt has been great hearing about your book and although I am not the reader myself, my 2 sisters and 2 daughters are. They love hearing about the genre's they like and me helping them get to find books they will enjoy. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI think more people have read this book that “don’t read”, then people that do. Good looking out for your family
DeleteGood morning! My question for you today is, are you able to read or write when it is noisy or do you need peace and quiet as I do?
ReplyDeleteP.S. I am a mother of ten and grandmother of seventeen and counting
I can write in either environment. I actually like to read while my family is running around me. You have my dream life with all of those babies around you haha!
DeleteCongrats on the release. I hope that your book is a success.
ReplyDeleteI’m not sure what most people would define as successful, but I think it has been a hit with the feedback I’ve received. Thank you so much for stopping by here!
DeleteAwesome excerpt, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, hope you get to check out the book soon!
DeleteSounds like a great read.
ReplyDeleteI’m partial, but it most definitely is!
DeleteThanks for the giveaway; I like the excerpt. :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad you stopped by!
DeleteSounds like a good book can't wait to read!
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading your review!
DeleteDo you plan on continuing to write over the holidays?
ReplyDeleteI love the cover, and it sounds like a very interesting read.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a fascinating read! I can't imagine writing with 6 children around! Wow!
ReplyDeleteHappy holidays!
ReplyDelete==Trix