Lesser Known Travel Tips SeriesBooks 1 - 3by Simon Yeats
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GENRE: Humor / Memoir
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BOOK SERIES BLURB:
The Lesser Known Travel Tips memoirs are a hilarious series of travel misadventures and dubious personal introspection by Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about them.
Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as the Spanish Flu in 1918 or hordes of Mongols in 12th Century.
From how to keep yourself entertained when unwittingly forced to watch 11 hours of live sumo wrestling in Japan, to surviving heartbreak in India at the hands of a French flight attendant, to 48 hours spent in Nepal that qualify as the funniest most gut wrenching travel experience since Captain Bligh was set adrift in the Pacific, to his unsuccessful attempts at avoiding going to a brothel in Thailand. From what to do when several people converge to rob you after midnight on a deserted Copacabana Beach, to how to save the Sierra Mountain Range from a wildfire outbreak due to a lack of quality toilet paper, to where not to go in Tijuana when trying to locate the origins to stories of the city’s mythical adult entertainment, to how to save yourself from drowning when caught in a storm while sailing off the California coast. From how to outwit the Italian police while trying to find parking in downtown Genoa, to how to negotiate exploring the Roman ruins of Plovdiv, Bulgaria while on crutches, to how to impress the German Mafia with 80s dance moves, to how to leave a lasting impression on a crowded bar in Gothenburg, Sweden after combining alcohol and antibiotics.
Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to break a leg, contract Dengue fever, or rupture a pancreas.
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EXCERPT FIVE:
From How to Survive Making Yourself Look Silly While Dancing with the German Mafia at a Bavarian Nightclub and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips - Book Three
British Airways flight BA114 from JFK to London Heathrow landed on time at 9.20am on Friday, March 14th.
Kid in candy store meets the ultimate sugar rush.
Twenty-nine years, 351 days after I was born, I finally step foot in the country that gave humanity the names of every square on the Monopoly board. If my doctor was worried about my impulsive behavior being a sign of ADHD when I was five, then the entire medical fraternity would be absolutely perturbed seeing the level of hyperactivity I have walking through Heathrow customs at age 29 years and 351 days.
Children would not get this excited waiting to be served a stick of cotton candy at the state fair after snorting cocaine.
But today is what life is all about. Moments of pure joy like this.
I walk out of the arrivals gate and am greeted by a mass of people in thick overcoats, gloves, and parkas. I am in shorts. The weather in New York had been unseasonably warm, such that I felt comfortable enough wearing shorts to go to the airport. The weather in London was the same. Brisk but not freezing. And I have so much energy just from the exhilaration of being here that I am sweating. Everyone stares at me like I am Taylor Swift, wearing a scuba mask, while breastfeeding a baby in public.
My good mates Sheilds and Jim are at the airport to pick me up. They have no trouble picking me out of the crowd. I look like I am on a pogo stick bouncing along inside the steady stream of travelers who are not anywhere near as thrilled as I am to be here.
Sheilds’ eyes go as wide as saucers when she sees what I am wearing.
“Why on earth are you in shorts?”
“Can we drive past Big Ben on the way to your home?”
“Don’t you think you will be cold?”
“Is there a fish and chip shop close by, where we can get some fish and chips wrapped in newspaper?”
“It is chilly outside.”
“What are we going to see first? Trafalgar Square? Piccadilly Circus? Euston Road?”
“Don’t you have any warm clothes?”
“How long would it take us to drive to Loch Ness?”
The entire drive from the airport to Putney, they could not understand why I was not shivering with cold. I could not understand why they were not jumping out of their skin with excitement we were in London.
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GUEST POST:
Background of the Lesser Known Travel Tips Book Series
My book series Lesser Known Travel Tips is all about discovering everything a person would want to find out about themselves and the world through traveling and from the spectacular disasters that can happen when away from home and then how to frame those failures in a positive light so that on your return home the slide night doesn’t turn into a real downer for all your guests. (For younger readers, slide night is what people used to do in the 70’s and 80’s after they came home from a vacation and they would show slides to all their friends who would come to the house.)
I have had my fair share of spectacular debacles while traveling and living abroad and I carry them like a badge of honor. Everyone has been to the Eiffel Tower, but how many people go to the Eiffel Tower and end up enraging a group of scam artists trying to bilk naïve tourists out of their money by playing a rigged game of find the ball under the cup? Is it my fault that I know how they are cheating and loudly exclaim it to the group of spectators who have amassed around them? That was a community service. Most people would just stay silent and be embarrassed to speak up. I used to be like that as well. But the experiences that a person has when traveling will change them for the better, always for the better, and that is the purpose of the book series. To show people it is okay to be afraid of the world but to get out there and see it, anyway. It is okay to be a fish out of water, we all are, but if you keep your eyes and ears open and your head down, you will more than probably end up with an enthralling story or two to tell your guests on slide night that will make them more considerate of the fact you opted for the much cheaper wine option at the store that you are now serving them.
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AUTHOR BIO:
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Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.
With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.
No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.
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CONNECT WITH YEATS:
Amazon Author Page:
TikTok:
Instagram:
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AMAZON BUY LINKS - HOW TO START A RIOT IN A BROTHEL IN THAILAND BY ORDERING A BEER AND OTHER LESSER KNOWN TRAVEL TIPS - BOOK ONE:
Amazon US Kindle eBook:
Amazon CA Kindle eBook:
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AMAZON BUY LINKS - HOW TO AVOID GETTING MUGGED IN RIO DE JANERIO BY SINGING SONGS BY THE POLICE AND OTHER LESSER KNOWN TRAVEL TIPS - BOOK TWO:
Amazon US Kindle eBook:
Amazon CA Kindle eBook:
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AMAZON BUY LINKS - HOW TO SURVIVE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK SILLY WHILE DANCING WITH THE GERMAN MAFIA AT A BAVARIAN NIGHTCLUB AND OTHER LESSER KNOWN TRAVEL TIPS - BOOK THREE:
Amazon US Kindle eBook:
Amazon CA Kindle eBook:
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GIVEAWAY:
Yeats will be awarding a $25 Amazon OR Barnes and Noble Gift (Winner's Choice!!!) to a randomly drawn winner via Rafflecopter during the tour.
**This post contains affiliate links and if clicked and a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission to help support this blog. This does not cost you anything, it just helps pay for all those fabulous community outreach projects and awesome giveaways on here**
This contest is sponsored by a third party. Fabulous and Brunette is a registered host of Goddess Fish Promotions. Prizes are given away by the sponsors and not Fabulous and Brunette. The featured author and Goddess Fish Promotions are solely responsible for the giveaway prize.
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Thank you so much for featuring Mr. Yeats and this series.
ReplyDeleteCheers for featuring my book series. I hope that your followers will get a solid laugh from the fact that literally none of my travels have ever gone to plan, and by not going to plan I mean that someone (me) usually ends up with a gun in their face or a bad case of foot rot.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a good read.
ReplyDeleteSounds great.
ReplyDeleteThe story sounds very interesting.
ReplyDeleteThis looks like a very interesting read. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete