Tales of a Mermaid
Gone Over the Deep End
by Teresa Fischtner
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GENRE: Non-Fiction (Biography/Autobiography)
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BLURB:
Advance praise (payback) for Teresa Fischtner:
"Well,
this is a little embarrassing. I didn't actually read the WHOLE book, but it's
probably pretty good. I'm not sure what she said about me, but you should
know—SHE shot me in the back on my 19th birthday!"
– Ronny Fischtner (author's son)
"I
love my mom and I love MOST of this book. It should be noted that my bowling
has improved, I've given up hockey, accounting is for nerds, pancakes is food
for super heroes and no one needs to count how many boyfriends I've had."
– Malyn Fischtner (author's daughter)
"I'm
pleased to be the source of so much humour for my wife. I just wish she didn't
feel the need to publish it."
– Ron Fischtner (author's husband)
"It was the last class of the evening that I was teaching, and we were doing our stretches, and at the surface of the water I noticed a single floating nipple happily bobbing away on its own. Unsure if its owner was still in the water, I quietly asked the nearest lady, "Excuse me, could you just pass me that nipple over your right shoulder?
"There I held a lovely C-cup breast that went rogue. I made posters for the lost breast (seriously, I made missing boob posters). No one claimed her. I introduced her to all the instructors, but no one recognized her (honestly, they all look the same after a few years at the pool). No one ever claimed Betty (yes, we gave her a name). Betty stayed on the teachers' table in our special little box for a long time. Eventually, like all good boobs, she wrinkled up, lost her bounce, and sagged lower and lower in the box until we all forgot how much fun she was when we first found her."
This is a feel-good book of true short stories about me, my family, friends, and my aquafit business, Over the Deep End. We all have stories to share, and the true ones are always the best. I'm sharing some of my most vulnerable moments, some of my greatest moments, and some of my saddest. Hopefully, in one story or another, you find something way better than me—you might find you. We all have a story and a different way to tell it. I hope telling my stories helps you tell some of your own.
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EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT:
After the pool was built, we hosted family gatherings, and the kids had friends over all the time. Every Sunday, we would lie in our floaters and watch a movie from the pool. Malyn had a little side business called “Swim with Malyn” on Saturday mornings. She would have three or four little ones come for a half-day of swimming, snacks, games, and basic babysitting in a pool.
The second winter we had the pool, I got an email from a friend asking if she could rent it two evenings a week for aqua fit classes with her friends. I didn’t want to rent the pool out, and I didn’t want to share it more than once a week, but I liked the idea of aqua fit classes. We agreed to one night a week, and instead of rent, they would make a donation to a charity of my choice (Down Syndrome). I could attend the class, and it would be taught by her friend, Judy McNeill. There were anywhere from three to eight ladies each week that came to those first classes. We were all in different ages and stages of life, different careers, different ideals but the same love of water and need to connect on a personal level.
Back then, we didn’t have belts or tethers, or dumbbells and paddles; all we had was pool noodles. We all liked doing deep water aqua fit, but an hour of treading water without a floatation belt was a stretch. To keep us afloat, we each straddled a pool noodle; it kept us up and allowed our arms and legs to keep doing the moves as Judy instructed.
Week after week we rode those noodles. Now most of you have probably never ridden a pool noodle for an hour a week. Those noodles do break down and get rough, and let’s face it, ladies, our inner thighs have very sensitive skin. Chafing was becoming a very delicate problem for all of us.
I was still at my accounting job, and two of the ladies from the office had joined our aqua fit class. For the staff Christmas party that year, we did a Secret Santa gift exchange. Everyone had to open their gift from an anonymous Santa in front of everyone. I will never forget the bright red face of my co-worker when she opened her gift: a bottle of baby powder. The three of us were the only ones that knew what it was for, which left everyone else making some wild guesses.
It was unanimously agreed, we all needed some baby powder and buoyancy belts. The first waves of Over The Deep End had rippled. The following year, I decided to leave my accounting career and start my own business at the pool: deep-water adult aqua fit classes. I had no competition in a town that had no indoor pool. Of course, I also had no customers, no instructors, no equipment, and no training. I had totally and completely gone Over The Deep End.
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AUTHOR BIO:
Teresa Fischtner is an "aqua entrepreneur." After 25 years working in accounting, she changed careers and started teaching aquafit at her family pool. Customers come to "Over the Deep End" for full body workouts in deep water and they leave with a sense of community and friendship that Teresa has created, and all her mermaids and mermen continue to nurture.
This is Teresa's first book; she writes from her heart with honesty and humour. Comments and kindness always welcome at teresa@overthedeepend.ca.
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CONNECT WITH TERESA:
Website:
Email:
teresa@overthedeepend.ca
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/Over-The-Deep-End-535033316645038
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/overthedeependfitness
Goodreads Author Page:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/21918424.Teresa_Fischtner
Goodreads Book Page:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59333636-tales-of-a-mermaid-gone-over-the-deep-end
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BOOK BUY LINKS:
Amazon US Kindle eBook:
Amazon US Paperback:
Amazon CA Kindle eBook:
https://www.amazon.ca/Tales-Mermaid-Gone-Over-Deep-ebook/dp/B09HWSG4PY
Amazon CA Paperback
https://www.amazon.ca/Tales-Mermaid-Gone-Over-Deep/dp/0228863007
Barnes and Noble NOOK eBook:
Barnes and Noble Paperback:
The Book Depository Paperback:
The Bookshop Paperback:
https://bookshop.org/books/tales-of-a-mermaid-gone-over-the-deep-end/9780228863007
Indigo Chapters CA eBook:
https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/tales-of-a-mermaid-gone/9780228863014-item.html
Indigo Chapters CA Paperback:
https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/tales-of-a-mermaid-gone/9780228863007-item.html
Kobo US eBook:
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/tales-of-a-mermaid-gone-over-the-deep-end
Kobo CA eBook:
https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/tales-of-a-mermaid-gone-over-the-deep-end
Smashwords eBook:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1108469
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GIVEAWAY INFO:
Teresa will be awarding a $15 Amazon or Barnes and Noble Gift Card to a randomly drawn winner via Rafflecopter during the tour.
**This post contains
affiliate links and if clicked and a purchase is made, I may receive a small
commission to help support this blog.
This does not cost you anything, it just helps pay for all those fabulous
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Thanks for hosting!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a great book.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the excerpt and this book sounds like an intriguing and fun read! Thanks for sharing it with me and have a spectacular holiday season!
ReplyDelete