The Big Comb Over
by J.P. Rieger
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GENRE: Family Satire; Farce; Magical Realism
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BOOK BLURB:
Three nephews and three eccentric uncles.
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It’s 2050 and Robbie Elders has all but forgotten about his oddball, religious fanatic uncle, tim tim. He’s taken up the latest fad, genealogical research based solely on DNA. But Robbie’s “inconclusive” DNA results are unsettling. He crashes back to his childhood, back to his world of comic books and tim tim.
“I opt for posh and London” declares Lady Florence Stour. It’s 2019 and time for a Royal Wedding. Robbie’s uncle, Stef, is engaged to Lady Florence, a distant member of the British royal family. Stef’s Baltimore clan have been invited, but Robbie’s mom and dad can’t attend. They’ve entrusted Robbie and big brother, Doyle, to their mom’s two eccentric brothers, uncles Roy and Roland. Roy, a weathered waterman with a severe Baltimore accent, lives for Maryland blue crabs. Roland, a mildly hypochondriacal actor, lives to survive the Karens he unavoidably encounters. And then there’s Desales, Roy’s smart aleck, teenage son. He lives to prank. They’ve descended upon London. What could possibly go wrong?
Meanwhile, tim tim has been coaching Robbie on “the mission.” A silly religious fantasy according to Robbie’s atheist parents and the therapists. Or perhaps not? Things are not always as they appear in The Big Comb Over.
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EXCERPT THREE:
He was thinking that the man’s accent could be Irish. But more Cockney, almost. Odd. He saw the man thrust his hand forward.
“Name’s Roy.” He shook Roy’s hand, earnestly.
“Name’s Dixon. Pleasure to meet you.” He glanced over at Roy’s suit. “Nice couture! A refreshing play on seersucker! ‘Maison Dixon’ is mine. Curious to hear about yours!”
Roy felt a bit confused. He had already introduced himself. He figured maybe those white things were hearing aids. And he had a crazy name. “Ya said yours is Mason Dixon?”
“Yes!”
“Like your Mason-Dixon line?”
“Well, thank you, Roy! Which particular line do you favor?”
Roy felt confused again. “Favor? Well, I was thinkin’ of the long one? The old one?”
Bertram nodded, knowingly. Nice to know the “Smart Man” line was still revered. Teddy had been encouraging him to drop it. “Yes, Smart Man, a long and successful line.”
Roy nodded. “Why, thanks, Mr. Dixon. But I would reckon everbody ’roun here’s heard of it. Don’t take too much brains. Historical, like.”
“Brilliant! Thanks, Roy. That’s my job. To keep those lines out in the public’s mind.”
Roy scratched at his rusty beard stubble. “So, like, ya do surveys, still? Ta mark the lines?”
“Well, certainly. But those are a little old school. We don’t always attach a survey to each line we produce. We get things done more with social media. Influencers, mainly. Good judges of the zeitgeist.”
Roy was thinking that surveyors setting lines without surveys didn’t sound very safe. And he wasn’t sure about the rest. “Ya done anything here in Bawlmer? Any new ones?” Roy had been shopping at that new supermarket in Middle River. He wanted to make sure the building was safe. He was hoping Mr. Dixon’s company was not involved.
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GUEST POST:
What Kind of Writer Am I?
Isn’t there a song, What Kind of Fool Am I? Well as the saying goes, “No fool, no fun.” That’s me. I’m primarily a humor writer and happy to act as your designated fool! I enjoy farce, satire and generally absurd humor. The Big Comb Over hopefully ticks all those boxes. The Big Comb Over is a family farce with a little fantasy thrown in for fun. I’m also a mystery and crime writer and love mixing a little dark humor with those genres. The Case Files of Roderick Misely, Consultant, Clonk! and my as yet unpublished Sunscreen Shower all fall into the mystery/crime fold.
I’m a writer influenced by my many literary heroes. One of my favorite writers was Charles Willeford. He was an existential humorist and social satirist. Self-taught, he wrote true ‘pulp’ fiction to survive in the 1950’s but slowly began to refine his craft. His characters were often misfits and sociopaths. His humor was definitely ‘black.’ He once told an interviewer, “Just tell the truth, and they’ll accuse you of writing black humor.” He had a hard time finding publishers and frequently worked with small, niche publishers. He finally found success in 1984 with the publication of Miami Blues, featuring police detective Hoke Mosely. His publisher begged him to do a ‘cop series’ featuring Mosely, but Willeford hated the idea of becoming a ’serial’ novelist. To shut the publisher up, he wrote a sequel featuring Hoke Mosely, where Mosely goes on a demented killing spree, murdering his own family. Obviously, this was not quite what the publisher had in mind. That ‘sequel’ was never published. Ultimately, Mosely did relent and published three other Hoke Mosely novels, all of which are wonderful.
Alexander McCall Smith is another favorite. If you haven’t read the Detective Varg and the Von Igelfeld series, you are missing out. In Varg, Smith gently lampoons Swedish manners and mores and in Von Igelfeld, intellectual German academics. But I doubt that his Swedish or German readers feel offended. He lampoons in a loving, respectful way.
Kurt Vonnegut is also a hero. Vonnegut is the dean of absurd, existential social satire. Whenever I’m feeling a little depressed, I just reread God Bless You Mr. Rosewater and feel better.
Naturally, I love reading the mystery and crime genre, too. I’m sure I’ve read all of Elmore Leonard and Agatha Christies’ novels. More currently, I’ve enjoyed reading British cop mystery novelist Susie Steiner. Her three Manon Bradshaw novels are masterful. (Very sadly though, she passed away in 2022.)
And what mystery fan does not love Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes? And of course, let’s not forget Edgar Allan Poe who invented the “detective mystery” genre featuring his detective C. Auguste Dupin. Poe’s Purloined Letter is a personal favorite. Although not a Dupin story, The Gold Bug is one of the most clever and engaging mysteries ever written. My first novel, The Case Files of Roderick Misely, Consultant, featuring a young lawyer wannabe with questionable scruples, is something of an homage to those writers. Of course, Poe took fantasy and horror fiction to new and extraordinary places, too.
Well, that’s what kind of writer I am. If you enjoy any of those writers, check out my books, too!
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AUTHOR BIO & LINK:
J. Paul (J.P.) Rieger is a born and bred Baltimorean and mostly retired Maryland attorney. As such, he’s well acquainted with the quirkiness and charm of Baltimore’s unique citizens. He’s author of Clonk!, a police farce set in Baltimore and published in 2023 by Apprentice House Press (Loyola University-Baltimore). He’s also author of The Case Files of Roderick Misely, Consultant, a mystery novel featuring a wannabe lawyer anti-hero. The Big Comb Over, a slipstream comedy of manners featuring three nephews and their three eccentric uncles, is Paul’s third novel. Paul is married and lives in Towson, Maryland.
Website:
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GIVEAWAY INFO:
J.P. will award a $25 Amazon OR Barnes and Noble Gift Card (Winner's Choice!!!) to a randomly drawn winner via a Rafflecopter during the tour.
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