Once Upon a Time, Bitches by Branden LaNette - Book Tour - Guest Post - Giveaway - Enter Daily!

Hi, lovelies!  It gives me great pleasure today to host Branden LaNette and her new book, “Once Upon a Time, Bitches”!  For other stops on her Goddess Fish Promotions Book Tour, please click on the banner above or any of the images in this post.

Be sure to make it to the end of this post to enter to win a $50 Amazon or Barnes and Noble Gift Card!!!  Also, come back daily to interact with Branden and to increase your chances of winning!

Thanks for stopping by!  Wishing you lots of luck in this fabulous giveaway!

Once Upon a Time, Bitches

by Branden LaNette

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GENRE: Self-Help

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BLURB:

That’s Branden on the cover. Yes, she has a boy’s name, a Mom bod, and her tattoos are not photoshopped. She doesn’t look like your typical author and she sure doesn’t look like the next self-help Instagram sweetheart.

However, besides being a wife, mom to six kids (plus others with fur), coach and business owner, Branden is the author of the new book, Once Upon a Time, Bitches. It’s a fast paced, in your face, expletive laced, nothing held back message to women everywhere: There is no magic fairytale, but if YOU work at it enough you can come pretty close to creating your version with a happily ever after.

But first, no more whining and no more damsel locked in a tower, bullsh*t. Is it possible to design a fairytale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your story? Branden thinks there is and she wants to help you.

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EXCERPT ONE:

Ever since I was 8 years old, I dreamed of an easy life. The problem with my dream? I expected that fairytale life to be handed to me. And when it wasn’t, I decided that fairytales were bullsh*t. Not that you can’t have a fairytale life—you can. What I understand now, however, is that to get a fairytale life, you’d better be willing to work your Cinderella-ass off for it.

Still, I held on to the fantasy of having an easy life handed to me. I wanted to be saved. To be specific, I thought I needed a guy to be my hero. So I went about trying to find one.

I dated a lot of guys. Lots of guys.

But as they came and went, I always ended up disappointed. Not a single one of them ever made my life easier. Things weren’t going the way I’d planned. WTF? Hadn’t anyone read the f-ing script? It was right there on page 43:

“Tall handsome guy with tight ass, great pecs and a 124-foot yacht named “Sh*tload of Cash” enters stage-left and sweeps Branden off her feet, and they sail off to Barbados.”

Even in my adult years, I would find myself just wishing—not just for prince charming to appear (which he eventually did in the form of my husband, minus the yacht and gobs of cash) but wishing for things in every area of my life. Even today, in my writing/coaching career, I find myself drifting into wish-mode: Why isn’t this easier? Why can’t things just take off and grow overnight? Is it always going to be this hard?

And when it comes to parenting, it’s the same thing. Why can’t parenting just be easy? And in my marriage, too: Why do I have to keep asking for things? Can’t my husband just read my f-ing mind?

One day I—still 8 years old—had the most terror-filled realization in a simple yet profound truth:

No one is coming to save you.

F**k. No one is coming to rescue me. Ever?

My heart broke. More like shattered. Yet, after taking some time to mentally digest this fact, I found this realization liberating somehow. Why was this liberating? Because it meant I could stop waiting for something outside myself for my salvation.

It put me in control. Newsflash, bitches: No one is coming to save you, either. Get it? No. One. Is. Coming. You’re going to have to save yourself.

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GUEST POST:

How I Discovered My Book Title (And Sold It!)

I have always been fascinated by the fairytales Disney created. I had to grow up faster than most people. I lost a part of life that I think should have been dedicated to just being a child. So, I connected to the innocence of everything well into my adult years to make up for that in some way.

I used to dream and wish for things. For success, for money, for love. I thought all my answers would be found in a prince. He would have the money, he would love me, he would make my life easier, and success would just rain upon me and I would live in a castle forever and ever. Then I discovered an incredible industry called network marketing. First and foremost, this requires personal development. A lot of it. Through this journey in the beginning I was still that eight-year-old girl just wishing for the fairytale magic to just happen.

It hit me one day, I couldn’t keep wishing. I was going to have to do something. I was going to have to save myself. not just in one area of my life, but in all areas. Not just for one day, but for forever. I laughed because “once upon a time” I had to face the truth.... those words stuck out to me and I felt incredibly compelled to share that truth with other people that may be out there just wishing or waiting for things to happen. What if there were women like me thinking that someone was going to come rescue them, and that if it didn’t happen that they just weren’t worthy? Who is settling because that fairytale life didn’t just “happen” to them?

Once Upon a Time, Bitches came to me easily and it encompassed everything that was me. I remember making a phone call to my friend Rebecca 30 minutes before a scheduled call with my publishers. I second-guessed the title thinking some would think it was immature. No one would take it seriously. Hearing that reassurance I gained the confidence I needed to talk to them, to sell my idea.

The funniest part of everything was, that phone call with the publisher went great. But not the way you would think. It ended in the comfort of a friend I knew all too well, a friend I call rejection. She had a lot of great things to say, even went as far as saying she loved it... said I was on the right track, I just didn’t have the platform. I knew she loved the title. She loved the idea. At the end of the day it still comes down to business. So, it was a “not right now, no.”

I loved her feedback and I felt empowered, but my uphill battle looked like it did before we talked. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t question giving up.

I couldn’t really speak for her on her end but I feel like over the next few days, my title and idea was so good, it struck a chord within her, and it replayed in her mind and she knew it was something that they couldn’t let go of. I say this because I got a phone call from her and her husband offering me a contract to publish the book within a week of our first conversation.

Once upon a time is for the fairytale daydreamer in me. Bitches is my term of endearment for all of the queens out there who don’t fit the cookie cutter ideology of what a princess is. I needed it to scream possibilities without the bullshit. This book is proof that dreams come true if you put in the work and keep showing up no matter how many times you want to quit.

I’m incredibly proud of the work and honored that so many people have given it a chance and loved it. I’m even more proud that my publishers got a little reassurance that they didn’t make a mistake taking a chance with me.

P.S. I am the Momma to 6. This girl is my latest!

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AUTHOR BIO:

Branden LaNette doesn’t look like a typical author but she has long ignored what she “should” do, say and look like. On her own at a very young age, Branden eventually found herself with the wrong guy, the wrong job, and a bleak future. The fairytale she was promised as a child never materialized.

Finally, Branden decided that she wanted something different for her life, and realized no one was going to do it for her. Prince charming wasn’t coming to save her—she’d have to save herself.

Step by step, decision by decision, through major trials and tribulations that would stop most people in their tracks, Branden learned how to turn heartbreak into happiness and self-judgement into inner joy.

Today, Branden LaNette is an entrepreneur, coach, speaker, wife, and stay-at-home Mom to six C-section babies (ages 1-16) and way too many f-ing pets. Somehow, however, she manages to juggle all of this effortlessly (a blatant lie) while pushing her way through the kinds of fear and self-doubts that whisper within all of us (totally true) to achieve her goals. Her most recent dream come true is this book, one that is destined to have a major impact on millions of women across the globe (or at least nine people in Michigan.)

Through it all, she has found her happiness, her joy, and more importantly, her voice.

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CONNECT WITH BRANDEN:

Website:

https://brandenlanette.com

Blog:

https://brandenlanette.com/blog-2

Newsletter:

https://brandenlanette.com/#section-work

Email:

brandenlanette@gmail.com

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/Branden.Lanette

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Branden_Lanette

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/Brandenlanettel

BookBub Author Page:

https://www.bookbub.com/authors/branden-lanette

BookBub Book Page:

https://www.bookbub.com/books/once-upon-a-time-bitches-design-your-fairytale-life-control-your-destiny-and-become-the-hero-in-your-story-by-branden-lanette

Goodreads Author Page:

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/19632220.Branden_LaNette

Goodreads Book Page:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48393144-once-upon-a-time-bitches

Amazon Author Page:

https://amzn.to/2RJXVe3

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BOOK BUY LINKS:

Amazon Kindle eBook:

https://amzn.to/2E668RJ

Amazon Paperback:

https://amzn.to/2sd7Xd8

Amazon Audiobook:

https://amzn.to/2YH7Q5M

Barnes and Noble Paperback:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/once-upon-a-time-bitches-branden-lanette/1134034894

Kobo Audiobook:

https://www.kobo.com/us/en/audiobook/once-upon-a-time-bitches

Google Play Audiobook:

https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details/Branden_LaNette_Once_Upon_a_Time_Bitches?id=AQAAAECs91634M

The Book Depository Paperback:

https://www.bookdepository.com/Once-Upon-Time-Bitches-Branden-Lanette/9781947814868

BAM! Books-A-Million Paperback:

https://www.booksamillion.com/p/Once-Upon-Time-Bitches/Branden-Lanette/9781947814868

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GIVEAWAY INFO:

Branden will be awarding a $50 Amazon or B/N GC to a randomly drawn winner via Rafflecopter during the tour.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

**This post contains affiliate links and if clicked and a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission to help support this blog.  This does not cost you anything, it just helps pay for all those awesome giveaways on here.**

This contest is sponsored by a third party. Fabulous and Brunette is a registered host of Goddess Fish Promotions.  Prizes are given away by the sponsors and not Fabulous and Brunette. The featured author and Goddess Fish Promotions are solely responsible for the giveaway prize.